The Ongoing Search Of Happiness

2010-05-24T05:11:00.001-07:00

really bad...

2010-05-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

Today has been such a bad day for me, the word "bad" deosn't explain it all.

My phone rang, I picked it up and my friend was in a realy bad mood telling me to go to her house to practise for the talent show at 9. I had a fever at the moment, and my voice was so husky, but she didn't care,not that I know of.

The second I dropped the phone a tear came as well, had to constantly tell myself she must've experienced something sad as well today to make her like that, she didn't really mean it. and I believed what I told myself.

I haven't cried in front of my mum for a long long time, it seems like a weak thing to do to me, but I don't know I've read something that said that it was okay sometimes to act weak. Not for me, I thought at the time because I have no one.

Eventually, I had to stop crying, coz I know, no one will take pity on me the world is a harsh place and crying dosen't do anything. The only way to survive this world, is by being invincible, and that is by becoming strong myself with the help of Jesus, relying on other people is weak, and I have to stop crying.

new name for bboy - The Mysterious One

2010-05-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

The Mysterious One has hurt me so much lately. I miss you my old TMO.
His relationship status changed to that he's in relationship with this girl. I thought you liked me? He did, because the second I saw this change of realationship status, he says on msn: please ignore my relationship, it's a joke.
He has changed so much since I met him, I remember him as a friendly guy, my protector, only person who ALWAYS says hi to me, the person who gives me the courage to continue in this intimidating new school. Even if no one talked to me, I know he'll never leave me.
But what has The Mysterious One turned into? untrustworthy, unfaithful in relationships. or maybe, he was like that at the beginning, like what my friends have told me, I was just to helpless to believe them, becuase I needed him.
Today, he breakdanced in front of me with the first song that he sent me, the first one that started our fav. song exchanging game. He knew I recognised it, since he continued to do his tricks even though I pretended not to see.
In the end, I realise I never actually liked him, I simply liked the feeling of being liked.
traces of happiness gone with the wind....

bboy.

2010-05-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

Not many people have bboys, but I do. One. MY bboy. A smile lingers at my lips everytime I think of this.
My bboy talks to me everyday, asking about my day, he seems sweet enough.. ^^
Of course in any relationship people have fights, but it is even worse when it's a silent one, and no one wants to connect with the other. When this happens, this song comes in use:

Mad by Ne-Yo
She's staring at me, I'm sitting wondering what she's thinking.
Nobody's talking coz talking just turns into screaming,
and now some yelling over her, she yelling over me.
All that means is that neither of us is listening.
What's even worse, we don't even remember why we are fighting.

Rumours are another factor in a relationship. Many people warn me not to, but I did not listen.I preferred believing in him, and that has left countless scars for me. Time could heal that... I hope.
Often when we look back on a relationship, we catch all the best parts and go over it numerous times before we can let go. The holidays... 2 weeks... best time ever.... in the first week you told me you like me, from then on I had a person to talk to everyday. We never got to see each other face to face, but that had made it better, somehow. What happened to我们的爱淡淡的可以一辈子

So tired...

2010-04-28T01:42:00.000-07:00

T_T These days I tend to be ALWAYS tired why? well I have just been forced into dnacing for the school talent show that's in 3 weeks!!! and to top up it up, I have not a single idea how to dance. Luckily the one we are doing is not very hard, it's oh! by girls generation.
Here's the video we are learning from:

The I am immitating is the one with green shorts, her name is Seo Hyun, apparently she's the youngest one amongst the nine girls. Her parts are quite easy, but still took me aaaages. Wish me luck!!! :D

Dread....

2010-04-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

T_T tomorrow is first day back to school, really don't want to go, but that's not possible.
3 main things I'm dreading about:

Maths test
PE, HATE IT
(shaky voice) needles......

see, call that a freaky first day back... but whatever happens I know I'll do my best, because there are so many people encouraging me ^^, so happy when I think of this.

JIA YOU HAHA :D

Finally ^.^

2010-04-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

Finally made up my mind about having a blog, took a long time to have the courage. This is turning out to be th worst post in the history of this blog but ahhh well.

Now lets get started, my favourites:
Animal is cat
Speed is really fast, but not light years
Colour is blue
Day is Saturday
Temperature is warm
Personality is Nice
Time is Morning

Put together is:
A blue cat walking really fast but not light years, on a nice warm Saturday Morning.
That's all for today, good night mwah <3

Finally ^.^

2010-04-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

Finally made up my mind and made a blog, took a long time to build up the courage. This is turning out to be thee worst post in the history of this blog but, ahhh well...

Now lets get started, my favourites:
Animal is cat
Speed is really fast, but not light years
Colour is blue
Day is Saturday
Temperature is warm
Personality is Nice
Time is Morning

Put together is:A blue cat walking really fast but not light years, on a nice warm Saturday Morning.
That's all for today, Good night yall. :D